About Me:

Aloha! I'm Wendy Kennar. I'm the mother of a seven-year-old son and a wife living in Los Angeles. I was a public school teacher for twelve years until a chronic medical condition made it necessary to leave my teaching career.

I've always been described as "quiet" - really, I'm just biting my tongue. I've got lots to say, and lots of thoughts to share, I just prefer to write them. That's the purpose of this blog. Each Wednesday, I post a personal essay offering my observations and thoughts.

A few fun facts about me: I've wanted to be a writer since second grade, when my teacher, Mrs. Jones, made me a "book" with a yellow construction paper cover. I have never learned to whistle, have always preferred sunflowers to roses, and have spent my life living within the same zip code.

Through the years, my writing has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, United Teacher, GreenPrints, L.A. Parent, DivineCaroline.com, RoleReboot.org, XOJane, and Brain, Child Magazine. Additionally, my personal essays have been included in several anthologies, including: The Barefoot Review, Beyond the Diaper Bag, Lessons From My Parents, Write for Light, Being a Grown-Up: A User's Manual for the Real World, Ka-Pow!, How Writing Can Get You Through Tough Times, Breath and Shadow, The Grey Wolfe Storybook, and Sisters Born, Sisters Found.
I am a regular contributor at MomsLA.com, and you can also find me at Goodreads.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Feel free to comment and share my blog with others!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Just a Ring

“Being hugged by family members you’ve never met in your life
makes it a Wedding,
Gold makes it a 
Marriage.”
The tagline above was written for the World Gold Council and served as an advertisement in a recent edition of the Los Angeles Times.  I read it twice, not quite believing what I was reading.
I know these words are intended to help sell jewelry.  But these words are wrong.  Very wrong.
First of all, I’m not a gold person.  My wedding band is made of white gold, looking silver, which does not diminish the value of my marriage.  Secondly, a ring is a physical object.  If my ring was ever lost or stolen, I’d be devastated.  My ring would be gone but would eventually be replaced by another.  My marriage would not be devastated.  My marriage would not be replaced.
A marriage is a commitment.  It’s a legal contract that is not entered into without careful consideration.  A marriage requires work and maintenance.  A marriage means you’ve got someone looking after you, watching your back, holding your hand so you don’t fall, but if you do, that person is right there to help you up and kiss the hurt away.
I’m married twelve years, some of which have been easier and happier than others.  We said our “I Do’s” at a local wedding chapel.  Our reception consisted of cake and champagne in my parents‘ living room.  
Thirty-six years ago, my parents traveled to Las Vegas to exchange their wedding vows.  Silver bands are worn on their left hands.  My parents were, and are, my model for a good marriage.  Two people who genuinely like spending time with each other.  Two people who sometimes annoy each other but still kiss and say “good-night” each evening. 
I think we need to get away from this whole fairy-tale wedding equals fairy tale marriage idea.  No such thing.  The wedding lasts one day.  A few hours.  It’s the marriage that is important.  It’s the marriage we need to pay attention to.

3 comments:

  1. Honey,

    I am so blessed and overjoyed that I found you!

    Thank you for always being there for me.

    You are the most incredible wife anyone could ask for.

    I Love You!

    Paul

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so beautifully written.I have never been a gold person either,and I never felt one had to have an engagement ring to prove they are engaged.When you find the right person marriage is a wonderful thing.I remember being told people that get married in Las Vegas don't have a good marriage.To me a fancy and expensive wedding does not mean a long and happy marriage.I feel blessed to have such a WONDERFUL marriage and I am blessed to have such a WONDERFUL daughter and fiend as you are.I love you and I am very proud of you.
    love,mommy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful writing. Where has the time went? Your Mother & I are proud of you.

    Love, Dad

    ReplyDelete