About Me:

Aloha! I'm Wendy Kennar. I'm the mother of a seven-year-old son and a wife living in Los Angeles. I was a public school teacher for twelve years until a chronic medical condition made it necessary to leave my teaching career.

I've always been described as "quiet" - really, I'm just biting my tongue. I've got lots to say, and lots of thoughts to share, I just prefer to write them. That's the purpose of this blog. Each Wednesday, I post a personal essay offering my observations and thoughts.

A few fun facts about me: I've wanted to be a writer since second grade, when my teacher, Mrs. Jones, made me a "book" with a yellow construction paper cover. I have never learned to whistle, have always preferred sunflowers to roses, and have spent my life living within the same zip code.

Through the years, my writing has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, United Teacher, GreenPrints, L.A. Parent, DivineCaroline.com, RoleReboot.org, XOJane, and Brain, Child Magazine. Additionally, my personal essays have been included in several anthologies, including: The Barefoot Review, Beyond the Diaper Bag, Lessons From My Parents, Write for Light, Being a Grown-Up: A User's Manual for the Real World, Ka-Pow!, How Writing Can Get You Through Tough Times, Breath and Shadow, The Grey Wolfe Storybook, and Sisters Born, Sisters Found.
I am a regular contributor at MomsLA.com, and you can also find me at Goodreads.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Feel free to comment and share my blog with others!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


   I’m a lot like Meg Ryan’s character in You’ve Got Mail.  We both like books and Starbucks.  And we both tend to become a bit tongue-tied when provoked.  

   I like to consider myself good with words, but writing is different.  Writing allows me time to contemplate, to choose my words wisely, to revise and edit if needed.  In the heat of the moment, when confronted with someone who angers me, I tend to be at a loss for words.  Later, like Meg Ryan’s character, I will agonize over all the things I could have said, and didn’t.

   An example - I need to find a reply for those people who verbalize their opinion that I really should have another child.

   Truthfully, I had always thought I’d mother two children.  I wanted my children to be each other’s playmates, to be each other’s friends, supporters, confidants.  Now, thinking about my own relationship with my siblings, I realize that having siblings is no guarantee those close relationships will develop.

   Within the first year of Ryan’s life, I knew I wouldn’t have another child.  I knew our current lifestyle, including my job as a public school teacher, left me exhausted and I couldn’t be the kind of mother I’d want to be to two children.  I also knew that my marriage wouldn’t survive a second child.  Having a baby was a big change to my marital relationship and while there were times that I never felt closer to my husband, there were other times when I had never felt further away.

   And, for two years now, I’ve been on this medical odyssey that has resulted in an autoimmune disease diagnosis.  A disease that requires me to be on multiple medications, all strictly prohibiting pregnancy.

   I’m blessed with a happy, healthy son.  Ryan is my joy, and I am proud to be the mother of an only child.

   Recently, Ryan and I were shopping at Ralphs.  In the checkout lane, the cashier asked if he was my first child.  “Yes.”  She asked if I was having any more children.  “No.”  She said I should, that Ryan needs a little sister.

   I looked at her with my teacher look.  I wasn’t sure how to respond without making a scene, and without having to answer Ryan’s questions about why Mommy was upset.  
I do not know this woman except that she is an employee at my local supermarket.  I was speechless that someone I didn’t know would be that bold, that brazen with what she felt I should do.  

   I don’t want to, and I can’t.  And, let’s not forget that getting pregnant does not guarantee that Ryan would have a little sister.  It’s just as possible he’d have a little brother, instead.  

   I didn’t answer this woman.  I was tongue-tied, and I really need to come up with a good comeback for the next time I’m in this situation.  Because, I’m sure there will be a next time.  More and more, it seems that people are losing their sense of tact, decency, and manners.  

   Because we were married for nine years before Ryan was born, I dealt with the question of “When are you having a baby?” for years.  Now, the question has become, “When are you having another?”  After I say “I’m not,” most people will stop asking.  Most, not all.  And next time, I’ve got to have an answer on file.


  1. Honey,
    It really is amazing how people can speak so casually about very personal things in public. I am proud of us and our wonderful boy! We are blessed and I am excited about our summertime together as a family!
    I Love You!

  2. People have such nerve and don't care how they hurt someone's feelings with the way they talk.Having a child is very personal and no one should be asking if you are having one or more.When people ask that question they have no idea if the person is even able to have children,and it is very hurtful and uncaring.People should worry about themselves and think before they open their mouths to talk.I also thought having more than one child they would always be best friends and remain that way for life,and I was so wrong in my thinking.I guess I wanted my children to have the kind of relationship with each other that I never had with my siblings,but that hasn't happened and I am so sorry for that.Just remember you have an EXCEPTIONAL child and you are truly blessed to have him,and I feel blessed to be his grandma and I love him to pieces.If you should ever be asked again if you are having another just say "NO" and walk away.I love you and I am so proud of you.You are doing a WONDERFUL job in raising Ryan,and he may be an only child but he is a very very happy little boy.

  3. I have always been intrigued about having more than one child. After all the pain and suffering of child birth, why would any woman, do it again? I think Ryan is super and a smart and happy boy. Your Mother & I are proud of you.

    Love, Dad