About Me:

Aloha! I'm Wendy Kennar. I'm the mother of a seven-year-old son and a wife living in Los Angeles. I was a public school teacher for twelve years until a chronic medical condition made it necessary to leave my teaching career.

I've always been described as "quiet" - really, I'm just biting my tongue. I've got lots to say, and lots of thoughts to share, I just prefer to write them. That's the purpose of this blog. Each Wednesday, I post a personal essay offering my observations and thoughts.

A few fun facts about me: I've wanted to be a writer since second grade, when my teacher, Mrs. Jones, made me a "book" with a yellow construction paper cover. I have never learned to whistle, have always preferred sunflowers to roses, and have spent my life living within the same zip code.

Through the years, my writing has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, United Teacher, GreenPrints, L.A. Parent, DivineCaroline.com, RoleReboot.org, XOJane, and Brain, Child Magazine. Additionally, my personal essays have been included in several anthologies, including: The Barefoot Review, Beyond the Diaper Bag, Lessons From My Parents, Write for Light, Being a Grown-Up: A User's Manual for the Real World, Ka-Pow!, How Writing Can Get You Through Tough Times, Breath and Shadow, The Grey Wolfe Storybook, and Sisters Born, Sisters Found.
I am a regular contributor at MomsLA.com, and you can also find me at Goodreads.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Feel free to comment and share my blog with others!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Boo-Boos


   In our family, a boo-boo on a leg has several meanings.  Right now, it’s what my son is dealing with.  He recently came home from kindergarten having experienced a “first”:  his first stumble and fall and subsequent trip to the office for a band-aid.  

   Both his knees were skinned, and one was bandaged.  Ryan told me the fall happened during recess while he was playing a game with a classmate.  

   No parent wants their child to be hurt, to experience pain.  But, I was happy to hear  that the fall and boo-boos were the result of a game.  I asked Ryan if it was a fun game, if he had been enjoying himself, and I got an emphatic “Yes!”  This was great news because for the first few weeks of kindergarten, I was told that Ryan wasn’t playing and socializing much with his classmates.  

   We talked about how our bodies know how to heal themselves.  Ryan remembered another fall and scrape on his knee when he was four years old, and acknowledged that it had “gone away” and gotten better.  I assured him these bruises would do the same thing.

   But then Ryan told me that the next time we visit the Los Angeles Zoo, he would need a wheelchair since his legs have boo-boos.  It was one of those moments when I bit my lip and tried not to cry.  We had ventured to the zoo this summer, and I had warned Ryan that I might need to use a wheelchair.  Ryan doesn’t know I have an autoimmune disease that causes me pain and makes my legs weak.  He knows my legs have boo-boos.

   (I never did rent the wheelchair.  I was much too stubborn and wanted to experience the zoo alongside my son and husband.  I’m not sure if I’ll be that stubborn next time; the pain afterwards was dreadful.)

   I had to explain to Ryan that he wouldn’t need a wheelchair.  His boo-boos are on the outside of his legs.  He is strong and healthy, and his boo-boos will heal.  I reminded Ryan that my boo-boos are on the inside of my legs.  They’re harder to heal which is why I take so many medicines and see so many doctors.  He seemed reassured.  

   Autoimmune diseases aren’t easy.  They’re full of variables.  They’re chronic.  They’re life-changing.  And it’s not just my life it’s changing; it’s my family’s life too.

   My heart was heavy knowing that my five-year old son will have no memories of me before my disease.  He will only know me as Mommy with boo-boo legs.  My eyes well up, and I have to chastise myself.  We are lucky.  We are a family.  Boo-boo legs and all.
 


5 comments:

  1. You are a wonderful family with lots of love for each other.Ryan is filled with love from everyone who knows him.Daddy and I love him so and he means the world to us.It kills me to know you are having to deal with this very painful disease you have.But with all your pain you keep on going and Ryan knows how much you love him.I love you and I am so proud of you.I Thank God for you everyday.
    love,mommy

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I could take away your illness. With all your daily pain you are a wonderful mommy and Ryan knows how much you love him. I look forward to reading your blogs each week. Your mother & I are proud of you.

    love, dad

    ReplyDelete
  3. Honey,
    You are a wonderful and strong Mother for Ryan. I am so proud of you and I know you always give your best. I am very grateful that you are my wife.
    Love,
    me

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! Heather.vonstjames(at)gmail.com Thanks!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. One day, I will tell Ryan funny stories of how Mommy and Auntie Mb did silly things at work and at home. I will tell him how we dressed up in crazy costumes for Halloween and had burgers and fries at Johnny Rockets. He may not remember a time when you didn't have boo boos but your mom, dad, Paul, and I remember. I am sorry you have to deal with this and I wish I could take it all away for you. It breaks my heart to know you are hurting, physically and in your heart. I am so proud of you and love you very much!!

    ReplyDelete