Please Yourself

   I consider myself a fairly intelligent person.  I study hard, read a lot, am curious about the world, and retain a lot of information.  But when it comes to myself, I’m not always so bright.  I’m rather stubborn, somewhat naive, and fairly self-reliant.  And while all those qualities can be good to some extent, together those qualities make my life harder than it needs to be.

   I found another horoscope in the Sunday Los Angeles Times that may as well have been circled in red, with a great big  “Wendy, Read This!!!” written on top of it.

“Please yourself.  Life will get much simpler, and you’ll have a blast catering to your own needs.”

   Undoubtedly, I need to please myself.  More often.  I pride myself on being the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, I can be.  Admittedly, I’m not always the best “Wendy” I could be.  I’ve got so many other roles to play, so many obligations and responsibilities, that taking time for myself finds its way to the bottom of my daily to-do-list and it doesn’t get done.  Or, I short-change myself, put off the bubble bath or the reading time for another day, promising myself I’ll do it, and then I don’t.

   Would I have fun catering to my own needs?  Maybe.  Maybe I would enjoy taking myself out to buy myself flowers each week.  Years ago, I would periodically purchase flowers.  Finances were limited, and I couldn’t justify spending money on something that would not last beyond a week.  I promised myself that when our financial situation improved, I would buy myself flowers every week.  And I don’t.  

   Would life really be simpler if I took better care of myself?  Would everything else that seems to overwhelm me be put into a different perspective?  Would I be able to deal with all the details and difficulties of daily life in a more efficient, more calm, more enjoyable manner?  

   Have I been doing it wrong all this time?  When I was pregnant, I read about a common mistake many mothers make.  They forget to take care of themselves, and in doing so, they aren’t able to care for those around them. 

   I believe in signs and the idea that things happen for a reason, if I don’t know what the reason is at the time.  Maybe someone is trying to send me a message.  I’ve got the horoscopes in front of me and a leg that is still not fully healed.  I’ve got to start taking care of myself.  Pleasing myself.