Memories

   My son recently celebrated his fifth birthday.  For my readers who are parents, you know how I’m feeling.  Emotional.  My baby is now five.  

   Along with the presents and cake each March 30th, there are also memories of another March 30th, one from five years ago.  It’s funny, some of the memories that are so vivid, that are so clear in my mind are also so peculiar, so random.

   Here I share with you five odd memories from the most important day of my life:

1. The nurse told me to use a bedpan.  I was dealing with heavy-duty contractions, drug-free, and I suddenly had the urge to pee.  The nurse instructed me to use a bedpan.  I told her it wasn’t going to happen.  She pointed out that my contractions were strong, I was all hooked up; I pointed out that I had my husband, sister, and mother in the room, and I was not peeing in a bedpan.  I got out of that bed, walked to the bathroom, and while my husband stood by to make sure I was okay, I peed.  (It was, incidentally, the first time I had used the bathroom in front of my husband).
2. During labor, my ponytail kept falling down.  In hindsight, I realize it’s probably because I was using a scrunchie bought during my high school years.  I don’t know why I felt so sentimental to that particular hair accessory, packing that in my hospital bag.
3. In the midst of my heavy-duty pushing, someone in the room turned on the flat screen TV.  The TV was facing me, so unless a doctor or nurse was sneaking glances at it, I certainly wasn’t interested in watching the college basketball game that was being broadcast at that time.  (Thankfully, the TV was muted).  
4. My doctor hadn’t arrived yet, and the doctor who was checking me informed me that my son had a lot of hair on his head.  There I am, wearing the hospital gown, feeling pain I had never imagined before, about to give birth, and in my head, I’m thinking, “How does he know that?  How does he see that?”  There was still this sense of disbelief, this idea that my son was inside my body, and the hair on his head wasn’t visible yet.
5. The birth of my son will always be linked to the smells of Triscuits and Starburst jellybeans.  Those were my husband’s two snacks of choice.  So in between words of encouragement and synchronized breathing, he would eat handfuls of his snacks.  At our childbirth class, he and the other fathers were told that Daddies needed to maintain their blood-sugar levels to stay strong for the Mommies.

   Reflecting on my own random memories, just makes me curious about what memories Ryan will hold on to as he gets older.  Undoubtedly, he’ll remember some of the big events, but I wonder about the small moments that will remain with him as well.