Dealing with Drivers, Wendy-style

   I guess you could say I’m passive-aggressive.  I am not one quick to shout, to curse, or to give someone “the finger.”  I find those reactions don’t get a whole lot accomplished.  However, I am not above being annoyed and frustrated by the actions of others.  These actions usually fall into one of three categories:  selfish, ignorant, or unsafe.  

   I react to these actions, but in a way that most people aren’t expecting.  My reactions are thus a surprise.  It takes the offender a moment to realize what I’ve done, and since I haven’t responded with an expected curse word, I have, most times, angered the offender even more.

   Let me give you some examples:

   In the selfish category:  This is a person who is completely wrapped up in him/herself, totally oblivious to others around.  For instance, the person who parks their shopping cart in the middle of the market aisle, thus making it impossible for anyone else to navigate and select a box of Cheerios from the shelf.  This is the person who double-parks to dial on a cell phone, instead of pulling next to the curb where there are ample parking spaces.  I give these people a beep of the horn or a nudge with my cart, and sometimes a snarky comment (“The lines are painted on the street for a reason”or “Too bad there isn’t a speed limit on this street”), which they may or may not hear. 

   In the ignorant category:  The driver who is

holding up traffic to make a left-hand turn, when the sign clearly dictates no left-turns allowed at that particular time of day.  Horns are honking, tempers are flaring, and this ignorant driver is becoming increasingly agitated that he/she is the subject of such hostility, all for a left-hand turn, which he/she still hasn’t realized isn’t legal.  I admit, most times, I am one of those people who will keep my hand on my horn, trying to point to the sign overhead and shed some light on a person who maybe shouldn’t be in possession of a driver’s license.

   And then there is the worst category; the unsafe one.  Unsafe is the person who is tailgating me down a residential street, honking and making hand gestures when I didn’t speed up through a yellow/almost red light, but instead stopped.  I respond with a wave.  If that same driver will speed ahead of me further along the street, only to come to another red light, I applaud.  Their speed and unsafe driving has gotten them to the same traffic signal as me.  

   And as a bonus, I, on occasion, ask the powers that be to send a large bird that driver’s way where I hope that bird will make an unsightly deposit on the car’s windshield.