I’m not a devoted horoscope believer. I read them only when I’m reading a newspaper or magazine and there happens to be a horoscope published inside. I read out of curiosity - what is in store for my fellow Pisceans? I read with a fair share of dubiousness and don’t give a lot of credibility to these horoscopes. But, once in a while I read something that catches my attention. A horoscope predicts something favorable in my near future, a wonderful surprise that awaits me. Sometimes, I read between the lines, reading what I need to read at that particular time, something to give me a bit of optimism during a difficult time.
Recently, I read my horoscope. Then re-read it. Then ripped it out of the newspaper and taped it inside my journal. From the Los Angeles Times, a December horoscope for Pisces:
What would your life look like if you made peace, relaxation and health more of a priority? Everyone will benefit if you put them much higher on your list.
This particular horoscope scares me and unnerves me in ways I can’t completely articulate. Because if I did that, if I made peace, relaxation, and health more of a priority in this new year, my life as I know it would be radically different. And there’s a part of me that truly wants that. And there’s a part of me that’s terrified by that.
What would my life look like if I made peace, relaxation, and health more a priority? For starters, I wouldn’t be a teacher any more. There is nothing about teaching that is peaceful and relaxing. And unlike other jobs where the longer you perform them, the easier they get - it’s not the same with teaching. I’m teaching with ten years’ experience, and I feel like my job is getting harder each year. My students are being raised differently than I was raised, differently than I am raising my son. Budget cuts worsen each year. The job is changing each year. And every year I continue, I like my job less and less.
If I was to put health at the top of my list, I would certainly stop setting my alarm for 5:00 each morning. I would go to sleep by 11:00 and hope my son would wake sometime after 6, thus allowing me to sleep until sometime after 6. I would have time for walks in the neighborhood with my son. And I, hopefully, wouldn’t have pain in my legs that prohibits me from enjoying walks with my son.
If relaxation became a priority in my life, once a week I would take myself to a coffee/writing date. An hour, at least, carved out for me. My laptop, my journal, a cafe mocha. A time for me to escape and create worlds with words. A time for me to be creative and passionate. The number of unread books on my shelf would decrease as I would increase the amount of time I spent taking bubble baths and reading.
Then I blink and leave my fantasy world. For I am an adult, a Pisces with responsibilities and bills to pay. Perhaps I can’t change my life in these radical ways, and perhaps I shouldn’t. But, I definitely need to start taking baby steps in making “peace, relaxation, and health” a priority in my life. So, I’ll continue being a teacher; I’ll just be a teacher who loves soaking in a lavender-scented bubble bath. I’ll be a teacher who once a week sets the alarm for 5:15 instead of 5:00. I’ll be a teacher who doesn’t schedule any conferences once a week so that I may escape to the book store, drink a cafe mocha, and do some writing before I go home and grade papers.