About Me:

Aloha! I'm Wendy Kennar. I'm the mother of a seven-year-old son and a wife living in Los Angeles. I was a public school teacher for twelve years until a chronic medical condition made it necessary to leave my teaching career.

I've always been described as "quiet" - really, I'm just biting my tongue. I've got lots to say, and lots of thoughts to share, I just prefer to write them. That's the purpose of this blog. Each Wednesday, I post a personal essay offering my observations and thoughts.

A few fun facts about me: I've wanted to be a writer since second grade, when my teacher, Mrs. Jones, made me a "book" with a yellow construction paper cover. I have never learned to whistle, have always preferred sunflowers to roses, and have spent my life living within the same zip code.

Through the years, my writing has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, United Teacher, GreenPrints, L.A. Parent, DivineCaroline.com, RoleReboot.org, XOJane, and Brain, Child Magazine. Additionally, my personal essays have been included in several anthologies, including: The Barefoot Review, Beyond the Diaper Bag, Lessons From My Parents, Write for Light, Being a Grown-Up: A User's Manual for the Real World, Ka-Pow!, How Writing Can Get You Through Tough Times, Breath and Shadow, The Grey Wolfe Storybook, and Sisters Born, Sisters Found.
I am a regular contributor at MomsLA.com, and you can also find me at Goodreads.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Feel free to comment and share my blog with others!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Choices



(The quote below was found in this book)

“People said:  ‘Oh, be yourself at all costs.’  
But I found that it was not so easy to know 
just what one’s self was.  
It was far easier to want what other people 
seemed to want and 
then imagine that the choice was one’s own.”
                                                         - Joanna Field


   I celebrated my thirty-ninth birthday last week.  This birthday got me thinking (even more than usual) about who I am, who I was, and who I am still struggling to become.

   I read Joanna Field’s quote and nodded my head in recognition.  Looking back, there have been instances when choices, big ones, weren’t really a choice but more a matter of there being no other choice.  For instance, I really didn’t want to graduate high school and begin my college education at a community college (Los Angeles City College).  I went to LACC simply because it was the closest college campus to my home, and because it was all I could afford.  I didn’t choose to transfer to a university as a non-car-owner and be entirely reliant on public transportation to get me back and forth (six buses a day for that commute).  But, I enrolled at California State University Northridge because it was cheaper than a UC school and it offered classes on the semester system rather than the quarter system.  

   On the other hand, there have been choices, big ones, that were entirely mine.  Marriage and parenthood -- the hows and whens have been up to me. 

   But then there’s my autoimmune disease -- something I certainly didn’t choose.  It’s forced me to transition from a career as an elementary school teacher to the life of a stay-at-home mom and freelance writer.  And while I’m grateful for those gifts, I didn’t choose them.  I’m hoping that somehow, somewhere along the line, there may be some choice for me to make, some way of giving myself some control over an uncontrollable situation.  

3 comments:

  1. Honey,
    Your words are very powerful and insightful. I Love you with all of my heart!
    Love, me

    ReplyDelete
  2. Daddy and I felt terrible that we weren't able to purchase you a car so you didn't have to take 6 buses a day for your education.We both would give anything to be able to take your medical contion away from you and put it on to us.It kills us to see you dealing with such horrible pain daily.I love you and I am proud of you.
    love,mommy

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so proud of you and all you have done and all you have become. Your mother & I are proud of you.
    Love, dad

    ReplyDelete