As a young girl, I was never a “hearts” person. There was nothing wrong with hearts, I just preferred stars. (I had wanted to be an astronaut, after all).
But, I’m not a young girl any more, and when I stop to think about it, I realize that I have more heart items than star items.
For instance, on my desk, I have a collection of hearts. It’s an unintentional collection that has grown over time. By “unintentional,” I mean I didn’t plan on collecting hearts. It just sort of happened. Some of the hearts were gifts. A few of the hearts, I bought for myself. One is all that remains from a broken necklace. Basically, they’re sparkly and pretty, and I enjoy looking at them.
The hearts sit on my desk; the “mission control of our home,” as my husband refers to it. My desk is where I plan menus for the week, pay bills, and write. And I write with my heart. With honesty, passion, integrity, and love.
Although lately I must admit that I haven’t been doing a very good job of loving myself. My family? Yes. Myself? Not so much. I push myself too hard and criticize myself too much. And so last week, I decided to carry one of the hearts in my pocket as a reminder to be more patient, more understanding, and more loving towards myself.
It didn’t work. I did finger the heart throughout the day. I rubbed the heart while my calf throbbed. I rubbed the heart while listening to my son read a book. But really, having that heart with me just made me feel rather anxious, afraid that the heart would somehow slip out of my pocket, and I would lose it. So I haven’t repeated that particular experiment.
As I’ve gotten older, and my life has changed, I suppose it makes sense that I’m now gravitating away from stars and more towards hearts.
A while back, I was given a copy of Drew Barrymore’s book Find It in Everything. The book is a collection of photographs of hearts she found in daily life. In the preface of the book, Barrymore writes about the pure essence of a heart; the fact that a heart has no negative connotations associated with it. A heart is goodness and love. Pure and simple.
She goes on to say that a heart is powerful; “the way that one continuous line accomplishes the most extraordinary thing -- it conveys love.”