About Me:

Aloha! I'm Wendy Kennar. I'm the mother of a seven-year-old son and a wife living in Los Angeles. I was a public school teacher for twelve years until a chronic medical condition made it necessary to leave my teaching career.

I've always been described as "quiet" - really, I'm just biting my tongue. I've got lots to say, and lots of thoughts to share, I just prefer to write them. That's the purpose of this blog. Each Wednesday, I post a personal essay offering my observations and thoughts.

A few fun facts about me: I've wanted to be a writer since second grade, when my teacher, Mrs. Jones, made me a "book" with a yellow construction paper cover. I have never learned to whistle, have always preferred sunflowers to roses, and have spent my life living within the same zip code.

Through the years, my writing has been published in the Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, United Teacher, GreenPrints, L.A. Parent, DivineCaroline.com, RoleReboot.org, XOJane, and Brain, Child Magazine. Additionally, my personal essays have been included in several anthologies, including: The Barefoot Review, Beyond the Diaper Bag, Lessons From My Parents, Write for Light, Being a Grown-Up: A User's Manual for the Real World, Ka-Pow!, How Writing Can Get You Through Tough Times, Breath and Shadow, The Grey Wolfe Storybook, and Sisters Born, Sisters Found.
I am a regular contributor at MomsLA.com, and you can also find me at Goodreads.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Feel free to comment and share my blog with others!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Look of Love




   As a young girl, I was never a “hearts” person.  There was nothing wrong with hearts, I just preferred stars.  (I had wanted to be an astronaut, after all).  

   But, I’m not a young girl any more, and when I stop to think about it, I realize that I have more heart items than star items.

   For instance, on my desk, I have a collection of hearts.  It’s an unintentional collection that has grown over time.  By “unintentional,” I mean I didn’t plan on collecting hearts.  It just sort of happened.  Some of the hearts were gifts.  A few of the hearts, I bought for myself.  One is all that remains from a broken necklace.  Basically, they’re sparkly and pretty, and I enjoy looking at them.

   The hearts sit on my desk; the “mission control of our home,” as my husband refers to it.  My desk is where I plan menus for the week, pay bills, and write.  And I write with my heart.  With honesty, passion, integrity, and love.  

   Although lately I must admit that I haven’t been doing a very good job of loving myself.  My family?  Yes.  Myself?  Not so much.  I push myself too hard and criticize myself too much.  And so last week, I decided to carry one of the hearts in my pocket as a reminder to be more patient, more understanding, and more loving towards myself.  

   It didn’t work.  I did finger the heart throughout the day.  I rubbed the heart while my calf throbbed.  I rubbed the heart while listening to my son read a book.  But really, having that heart with me just made me feel rather anxious, afraid that the heart would somehow slip out of my pocket, and I would lose it.  So I haven’t repeated that particular experiment.

   As I’ve gotten older, and my life has changed, I suppose it makes sense that I’m now gravitating away from stars and more towards hearts.  

   A while back, I was given a copy of Drew Barrymore’s book Find It in Everything.  The book is a collection of photographs of hearts she found in daily life.  In the preface of the book, Barrymore writes about the pure essence of a heart; the fact that a heart has no negative connotations associated with it.  A heart is goodness and love.  Pure and simple.  

   She goes on to  say that a heart is powerful; “the way that one continuous line accomplishes the most extraordinary thing -- it conveys love.”  

7 comments:

  1. You have a great collection of hearts.It is amazing how we just sort of start collecting things.You are loved by so many,but I really wish you would start loving yourself.You are a very special person.I love you and I am very proud of you.
    love,mommy

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is amazing how we all seem to collect things. I enjoy the different topics you write about. Your mother & I are proud of you.
    Love, dad

    ReplyDelete
  3. Honey,
    This is a great post! I Love You!
    Love, me

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Mrs. Kennar,
    I don't know if you remember me but I was your student in 2006/2007 at Rosewood Avenue Elementary School. I know this is weird, but I have been thinking of visiting Rosewood before I leave to college so I would never forget my childhood memories from there. As I went on the school website to see the staff, I realized my favorite teacher was not on the list. Mrs. Kennar, even throughout middle school, high school, and college, you will always be my favorite teacher. I love your blog and I would love to meet with you before I leave later this month to start my life as an adult. Please let me know, it would be great to talk and catch up!
    Best Regards,
    Shana Memmi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shana, Oh my goodness! Of course I remember you!!!! Thank you for writing me. I am truly honored by your kind words! Yes, I would love to meet you before you head off to college. (College - is it even possible already?) Please, email me so we can arrange a day and time! Lots of love, Wendy

      Delete
    2. I don't have your email. This website is not letting me open your contact page.

      Delete
    3. Hi Shana, Sorry about that. It's mrskennar@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you!

      Delete